Old Rabbit and Snake

One day there was a rabbit and a snake who were both growing old and could not remember what animal they were. "OK I'll describe you and then see if you can guess what you are," said the snake. "That's a good idea," said the rabbit. "You are white, fluffy, and you have big ears and feet," said the snake. "Oh good, I'm a rabbit! So the rabbit says, "You are long, slim, and have a forked tongue." "OH NO, I'm a lawyer!"

My Dad's a Lawyer

Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind," replied Tommy.

God Sues Satan

Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Satan; "It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer."
"Yeah," Satan replies. "All the more for me!"
God replies, "You better send them up here immediately."
Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them."
God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you."
Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"