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Contact Manuel Escarpa
Manuel Escarpa
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Manuel Escarpa grew up in Cuba, working in the family's sugar cane business. He came to America after the Cuban Revolution, looking to build a new life. After many years in the boat building business, he re-invented himself by becoming a comedy writer, his second passion.
He loves writing all forms of comedy, but mostly about his family.
Check out all his great jokes and contact him if you need a professional comedy writer for your corporate event, magazine, or website!
Building the Chunnel
As the UK and French governments began plans for the Chunnel (English Channel Tunnel), they realized they didn't have the ability to build it themselves, so they put the project out for bid. Three teams: a German team, a Japanese team, and an Irish team submitted proposals and were asked to present their proposals to the selection committee.
The German team led off the presentations, with their main selling point being their engineering prowess. The german presenter showed their latest generation tunnel boring machines with laser guided accuracy, impressing the committee. The german concluded his presentation saying, "For 2 billion Euros, Ve will bore from both sides of the tunnel, and one vear later we will meet in the middle vit and be less than 1 meter off!"
The Japanese had a tough act to follow, but they knew their process quality techniques and enhanced productivity were better. The Japanese presenter showed their latest tunnel boring machines with advanced radar, their acumen in statistical process control, then bowed and stated, "For 1.8 billion Euros, we will bore from both sides of the tunnel, and 9 months later, we will meet in the middle and be less than 1 centimeter off!"
The Irish team knew they were in trouble, but really believed in the work ethic of their people, so they decided to pitch their strengths. The Irishman looked the committee in the eyes as stated, "For 1 billion Euros and 40,000 kegs of Guinness, we will bore from both sides of the tunnel, hic, and if we don't meet in the middle you'll get TWO tunnels for the price of ONE!"
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Common With Computer
Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.
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The Porcupine and the BMW
Q: What's the difference between a Porcupine and a BMW?
A: The BMW has the pricks on the inside!
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