Kentucky Hillbillies

Two Kentucky hillbillies happened to meet in town. "How're thangs with y'all, Pete?" one asked. "Not bad at all," Pete replied. "My old woman ain't talkin' to me this eyer week... and I ain't in no mood to interrupt her."

Alabama Fishing Trip

A salesman from Cincinnati traveled to Alabama for a company meeting. He couldn't get a flight back home till Sunday so he decided to spend Saturday fishing.  He went to Cabela's and found a great deal on rods, reels and a loaded tackle box. He rented a kayak at Guntersville lake and headed out in search of bass.
He was only 15 minutes from shore when the trolling motor stopped working.  When he realized that the rental company only gave him one oar, he decided to seek help.
He saw a man with two beautiful women on his boat who also had a spare oar. "Excuse me, may I borrow one of your oars?" he yelled. The other man appeared offended and yelled back,  "Thems ain't 'ores, thems me sisters!"

Many Faces

Grew up thinking I was stuck with the face I was born with; at 30 the beauty consultants at Macy's told me I would get the face I deserved; moved to LA and discovered I'd get the face I could afford!