San Francisco Jokes

You Know You Live In San Francisco When ...

• Your co-worker tells you s/he have 8 body piercings but none are visible.
• When someone says TENDERLOIN - you don't think of steak.
• You think of danger.
• You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a conversation in English.
• You never bother looking at the MUNI line schedule because you know the drivers have never seen it.
• You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatra and Ethiopian.
• A really great parking space can move you to tears.
• You know that anyone wearing shorts in April is just visiting from Ohio.
• Your child's 3rd grade teacher has two pierced ears, a nose ring and is named "Breeze." And, after telling that to a friend, they still need to ask if the teacher is male or female.
• You are thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between yoga, aroma therapy, conversational mandarin or a building your own web site class.
• You haven't been to Fisherman's Wharf since the first month you moved to SF, and you couldn't figure out how to drive to Coit Tower if your life depended on it.
• A woman walks on MUNI with live poultry. You don't notice.
• You think any guy with a George Clooney haircut must be visiting from the midwest. You know that any woman with a George Clooney haircut is not a tourist. 
• You keep a list of companies to boycott.

Ice Fishing

Fred and his blonde wife went fishing in Alaska. In the middle of nowhere, where the area was filled with nothing but white snow, they finally found a lake and so they cast their lines. After an hour or two, Fred's wife yelled, "Honey come quick I got a bite!" So Fred rushed to his wife only to find out her line was lying flat and he couldn't see any movement. So he said, "Your line isn't moving honey, no one is biting." "I got a bite," she insisted. "Where?" asked Fred. "My foot, I got a frost bite."

Couples' Store Food Fight

In February 1994 in New Brighton, Minn., a 32-year-old man and his 24-year-old girlfriend were arrested after a food fight in a grocery store. After arguing loudly, the couple began throwing sweet potatoes at each other. Eventually, the man allegedly threw the woman into several vegetable racks, sending the contents spilling to the floor. As both continued to brawl on the floor, she allegedly stuffed lettuce into the man's mouth.