Survey Says

The U.S. Government decided to gather data to better understand what people say right before they get into an auto accident. 89% of the people in 49 states said: ''Oh, shit!'' In Texas 94% said: ''Hold my beer. Watch this.''

Angry Drivers Meet

In a very small alley two trucks driving in opposite directions meet. As the drivers are equally stubborn, neither of them wants to reverse. They angrily look one at the other. Finally, one of them picks up a newspaper and starts reading. The other one politely asks, "When you've finished the paper, will you please bring it over, and let me read it?" 

Difference Between Flashing Lights

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.