Helicopter Ride

A man and his wife go to a county fair for 50 years and every year the man said he would love to go on the helicopter but his wife said £50 is £50. One year the pilot heard this and said if you don't make a sound on the flight you can ride for free. So the pilot did everything he could to make them make a sound even loop the loops and at the end the pilot said, "Congratulations you didn't make a sound." The man said, "I almost made a sound when my wife fell out but £50 is £50."

A Red Spot On the Dash

A truck driver breaks down and shortly another trucker stops to give him a hand. He notices that the first driver has a big red spot painted on his dash and asks him what it's for. He replies "Oh that's a conversation piece for when I pick up female hitchhikers. I get lots of pussy that way" The other driver thinks that's a great idea so he paints a red spot on his dash too. Then he sees a girl hitchhiking so he picks her up. She notices the red spot on the dash and asks him what it's for. He says "It's a conversation piece. You wanna fuck?"

Stopping for Directions

A woman was trying to find her son's baseball field. She drove around and around and finally decided she was lost. She stopped at a gas station to ask for directions. She asked the man behind the counter if he knew where Cooper's Field was. He said, "You turn left at Rainville Road. At the next fork in the road, go to the right. There's a little farm and about a mile after that you turn right. In a few minutes you will see a little service station called Joey's." The woman looked around and observed, "This is called Joey's." The guy was impatient and said, "That's what I was getting around to telling you. The field is right behind the station."