Arabs vs. Jews

Two Arabs boarded a shuttle out of Washington for New York. One sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just before take-off a fat, little Jewish guy got on and took the aisle seat next to the Arabs. He kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, "I think I'll go up and get a coke." (Shuttle flights do not have cabin attendants, but you probably knew that.) "No problem," said the Jew. "I'll get it for you." While he was gone the Arab picked up the Jew's shoe and spit in it. The Jew brought back the coke, when the other Arab said, "That looks good. Think I'll have one too." Again, the Jew obligingly goes to fetch it, and while he is gone the Arab picks up the other shoe and spits in it. The Jew returns with the coke, and they all sit back and enjoy the short flight.
When the plane was landing the Jew slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. "How long must this go on?" he asked. "This enmity between our peoples ... this hatred ... this spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes!?!"

Even More Bumper Stickers!

• Heart Attacks... God's Revenge for Eating His Animal Friends
• How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost?
• I'm an imbecile and I vote
• Money Isn't Everything... But it Sure Keeps the Kids In Touch
• If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
• 100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?
• Grow your own dope, plant a man
• All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets
• Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
• I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
• BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
• I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
• All men are idiots...I married their king.
• Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs
• Don't drink and drive...You might hit a bump and spill it
• We are born naked, wet, and hungry....Then things get worse.

Helicopter Ride

A man and his wife go to a county fair for 50 years and every year the man said he would love to go on the helicopter but his wife said £50 is £50. One year the pilot heard this and said if you don't make a sound on the flight you can ride for free. So the pilot did everything he could to make them make a sound even loop the loops and at the end the pilot said, "Congratulations you didn't make a sound." The man said, "I almost made a sound when my wife fell out but £50 is £50."