10 Signs Your Broker

1. Was Affected by the Stock Market Crash "He can't come to the phone right now... he's on the ledge."
2. "He won't be in today... he was made an offer and he refused."
3. "He left the building and not via the elevator... if you catch my drift."
4. "I'm sorry, sir... she's not in... she's out digging up your can as we speak."
5. There's a sign on her desk that says "Next Broker Please."
6. "He's on another line with his Mommy... would you care to hold?"
7. "No sir, that wasn't him streaking through the Stock Exchange."
8. "He's meeting with the SEC as we speak."
9. "I'm sorry, ma'am but that was him being led from the Stock Exchange naked except for the sale tickets stuck to his body via maple syrup."
10. "Yes sir, that is him in the White Bronco leading the cops down the freeway."

Addicted To Computers

Ten ways to know that you're addicted to your computer:
10) When you begin to laugh you yell, LOL.
9) You tell your computer you love it, more than you tell your spouse.
8) Your house catches on fire and you run home to save your computer before your family.
7) Your computer is your ONLY friend.
6) You think cyber sex is better than real sex.
5) You type only in short hand (YO ROFLMAO I'LL BRB B4 U RTFM LOL).
4) You type 40 words a minute with two fingers.
3) Your twins are named RAM & ROM.
2) After breaking from your computer, you realize you have gained 40lbs, have grown hair in unusual places, your spouse and kids have left you, and Windows 3.1 is outdated.
1) YOU READ STUFF LIKE THIS!

Top Ten Things Men Know About Women

Top 10 things men know about women:

1. They have tits
2. They have tits
3. They have tits
4. They have tits
5. They have tits
6. They have tits
7. They have tits
8. They have tits
9. They have tits
10. They have tits