Answering Machine - Right to Remain Silent

Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us. 

Real Live Answering Machine

Hi, you have reached Richard. I'm sorry, but my answering machine is out of order, so the voice you are hearing is actually me.

Burned Ears

A blonde ran into the hospital screaming, a doctor came running to her aid. To his surprise her ears were badly burnt and red. "What happened?" he asked. "I was ironing my shirt and the phone rang, thinking the iron was the phone I put it to my ear," she replied. "Oh no, but what happened to your other ear?" he asked. She frowned and replied "The jerk rang back!"