Share this joke via Email (Step 2)
Share this Joke on Twitter
Registered Users Only
You must be a registered user to submit a joke. But registering is FREE and don't worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don't sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).
Registered Users Only
You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.
Get link for other Social Networks
Copy the sharable link above.
Main Menu
- Home
- Popular Jokes
- New Releases
- Joke of the Day
- Browse By Category
- Browse Writers
- Contests
- Submit Joke
- Contact Us
- Info
© Copyright 2025 Jokers Media, LLC
All rights reserved.
All rights reserved.
- Home
- >
- Categories
- >
- Telephone Jokes
- >
- All
Telephone Jokes
Real Live Answering Machine
Hi, you have reached Richard. I'm sorry, but my answering machine is out of order, so the voice you are hearing is actually me.
- 1
- 6
- 1
Anonymous
Mortuary Answering Machine
Thank you for calling Uncle Tom's Mortuary and Delicatessen. You stab 'em and we slab 'em. We have specials on Mondays and Thursdays. We are currently unable to come to the phone, but if you leave your number and address at the tone, we'll be by to pick up the corpse as soon as possible.
Categories:
Funny Thoughts
, Dark Humor Jokes
(Corpse Jokes)
, Dark Humor Jokes
(Death Jokes)
, Profession Jokes
, Telephone Jokes
(Answering Machine Jokes)
- 1
- 6
- 2
Anonymous
Skunk Calls Home
Q: How did the skunk call home?
A: On his smell-ular phone!
- 2
- 7
- 3
Anonymous
