Base Time

Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.

Blonde Calling Tech Support

One day a blonde was having trouble with her computer, so she calls tech support. "Hello how can I help you?" the tech support woman says. "Yes, I am having trouble getting my computer to do anything," the blonde says. "What window do you have open?" asks the tech. "Are you crazy? It's freezing cold outside!"

Computer Acronyms List

Humorous Computer-Related Acronyms

• IBM: I Blame Microsoft. Idiots Buy Me. Idiots Building Machines. I'll Buy Macintosh. It Bit Me. It Built Microsoft. It's Better Manually. I've Been Mislead. I've Been Mugged.
• WINDOWS: Well, It Never Does Operate With Speed. When I Need Data Output Without Speed. While Idle, Needs DX or WorkStation. Will Install Needless Data On Whole System.
• WIN: Whoppingly Immense NOP. Worm Infestation Netware.
• MSWINDOWS NT / WINDOWS NT: My Solitaire With Its New De-accelerator, Only With Some Network Technology Well Intended, Netword De-accelerator, Only Works Sometimes, Never Totally.
• APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
• DEC: Dump Everything and Close
• DEC: Do Expect Cuts
• HCL: Hilarious Computer Logic
• HP: Hot Pursuit
• MAC: Most Absurd Computer
• MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
• MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
• NEXT: Now EXchange for Trash
• OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too.
• WARP: What A Rot Program
• CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
• COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
• DOS: Defective Operating System
• ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
• LISP: Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis
• MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
• PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
• PENTIUM: Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
• SCSI: System Can't See It
• WWW: World Wide Wait