Computer used too long

You know you have been on the computer too long when:

• You are counting objects, you count 0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".
• When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.
• When your wife says "If you don't turn off that darn machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting the else clause.
• When you are reading a book and look for the space bar to get to the next page.
• When you look for your car keys using: "grep keys /dev/pockets"
• When you look for your homework using: "grep homework /dev/backpack"
• When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number.
• When you get in the elevator and double-press the button for the floor you want.
• When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one.
• When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math in octal.
• When you dream in 256 pallettes of 256 colors
• You're writing a homework assignment, and get the end of the line in the middle of a sentence, tack on a '\', and continue writing on the next line.

Funeral Tech

One of the funeral ushers walks to the priest and asks, "What's the WiFi password?"
The priest replies, "Respect the dead!"
The man replies, "All lowercase?"

Spider Cross

Q: Why did the spider cross the road?
A: To get to his web-site.