USENET Changes a Lightbulb

 How many USENET posters does it take to change a lightbulb
A1. Define "change"
A2. How do you know the lightbulb is out?
A3. Don't use the word "posters" to describe us, it's offensive to large sheets of papers with pictures on them which hang on walls.
A4. That question is not appropriate for this group, please take itelsewhere.
A5. I think it's perfectly appropriate, this is alt.fan.lightbulbs.
A6. Well, that's because you're a twit.
A7. Who are you calling a "twit"? Besides, you spelled "twit" wrong.
A8. Oh? And how exactly do *you* spell "twit", twit?
A9. Could you two take this to e-mail? Doesn't anyone want to talk about lightbulb fans instead of flaming?
A10. You're a twit also, who died and made you net.cop?
A11. Look, all of you, take it to alt.flame or e-mail or something.
A12. Hey, USENET is an anarchy, you have no right to tell them what to post or not post.
A13. Speaking of anarchists, why don't you all vote for Andre Marrou,Libertarian Party Candidate for President?
A14. Because the Libertarians are all twits.
A15. Wait aminit! Now we're arguing politics on alt.fan.lightbulb????
A16. Stop wasting bandwidth with this stuff!
A17. What "stuff" pray tell?
A18. Yikes! It's dark in here!
A19. Define "dark".
A20. I mean the lightbulb must be out.
A21. So change it.
A22. Define "change"...

Demons' Favorite Sitcom

Q: What is the demons' favorite TV sitcom?
A: Fiends!

Pliers

"They're multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off." -- Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1000 for an ordinary pair of pliers.