Oh the Internet is Slow

The Net is Slow
Oh, the network outside is frightful, But on campus, it's so delightful, Our packets have nowhere to go, Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow. It doesn't show signs of stopping, All our packets, our hosts are dropping; Bandwidth is turned way down low, Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow. When we finally connect to a site, It's time to go back to the dorm; But if I could stay here all night, I could submit their Web form. The network is slowly dying, And, I fear, we're still denying, But as long as Sprint is the way to go, Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow.

Apple AirPods Max Warning

Don't clean carpets while wearing the new noise-canceling Apple AirPods Max headphones.
I just finished the whole house before realizing that the vacuum wasn't plugged in.

Top 10 New Intel Slogans For the Pentium

TOP TEN NEW INTEL SLOGANS FOR THE PENTIUM
9.9999973251 - It's a FLAW, Dammit, not a Bug
8.9999163362 - It's the new math
7.9999414610 - Nearly 300 Correct Opcodes
6.9999831538 - You Don't Need to Know What's Inside
5.9999835137 - Redefining the PC -- and Mathematics As Well
4.9999999021 - We Fixed It, Really
3.9998245917 - Division Considered Harmful
2.9991523619 - Why Do You Think They Call It *Floating* Point?
1.9999103517 - We're Looking for a Few Good Flaws
0.9999999998 - The Errata Inside