New York Bronze Sculptures

A man from Atlanta moved to New York. As he wandered the streets he stopped at an antique shop and decided to go in. On looking around he noticed a very strange looking bronze cat which had a tag on it saying, "Bronze Cat $30.00, Story $150.00." The man was very curious and asked the salesman to explain. "Well" said the man, "its just like it says, $30 for the cat and $150 for its story". "I'll just take the cat," said the man.
"Very well, but you will be back," said the salesman. The man left the shop with the cat in his pocket. As he walked down the street he heard a strange mewing sound. On turning around he noticed there were a couple of cats following him.
The further he walked the more cats seemed to follow him. As he got to the Brooklyn Bridge he turned to see thousands of cats behind him. "Screw this!" he said to himself and threw the bronze cat into the river. All the cats jumped into the river too and were drowned. The man returned to the shop where he bought the cat. "I knew you would be back. $150.00 for the story," said the salesman. "Forget the story," said the man. "Have you got a bronze Mets fan?"

Jersey Love

Q: Why are New Yorkers so depressed?
A: Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.

New Yorker Traffic Summons

A New Yorker was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard. When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the rest of the afternoon, and he would have to return the next day.
"WHAT FOR?!?!?" he snapped at the judge.
The Judge, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query, roared loudly "Twenty dollars contempt of court! That's why!"
Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented. "That's all right. You don't have to pay now."
The guy replied "I know, I'm just seeing if I have enough for 2 more words!"