Rabbi's Anniversary Present

A Jewish congregation in New York honors its Rabbi for 25 years of service by sending him to Hawaii for a week, all expenses paid. When he walks into his hotel room, there's a beautiful girl, nude, lying on the bed. She says, "Hi, Rabbi, I'm a little something extra that the president of the board arranged for you. "The Rabbi is incensed. He picks up the phone, calls the President of the Temple Board and says, "Greenberg, what were you thinking? Where's your respect? I am the moral leader of our community! I am very angry with you and you have not heard the end of this." The girl gets up and starts to get dressed. The Rabbi turns to her and says, "Where are you going? I'm not angry with you."

Hawaii Malfunction

Everyone in Hawaii is still mad about the malfunction of the early warning system. Those fools.
Hawaii IS the early warning system.

Hawaiian Passerby

Two men debate whether Hawaii is pronounced "HaVaii" or "HaWaii." They ask a passerby, who answers "Havaii." "Thank you," says the satisfied first man. "You're velcome," replies the passerby.