U.S. State Jokes - California Jokes

More Californians to Change Lightbulb

Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
A: Eleven. One to change it and ten to follow the trend.

Categories: Light Bulb Jokes , U.S. State Jokes (California Jokes)
Anonymous

We Have Plenty of Those

A Texan, a Californian and a Seattlite were all drinking in a bar.
After a while, the Texan grabbed a bottle of tequila, threw it in the air and shot it into a thousand pieces. "Don't you boys worry about it," said the Texan, "we have plenty of tequila deep in the heart of Texas." The Californian, not wanting to be outdone, selected a bottle of fine wine, tossed it up, and shot it into smitherines. "Hey, don't sweat it dudes," chirped the Californian, "There's zillions of bottles of wine in Cali." The Seattlite, following suit, guzzled down a bottle of micro-brewed beer, chucked it towards the rafters, shot the Californian, and (without missing a beat) pulled out his hand and caught the beer bottle. Everyone in the bar stood frozen in shock. "Relax, kids," said the Seattlite cooly, "Up in Seattle, there's a freakin' shitload of Californians. No big deal."

Categories: U.S. State Jokes (California Jokes) , U.S. State Jokes (Washington State Jokes) , U.S. State Jokes (Texas Jokes) , Word Play Jokes , Bar Jokes (Bar Trick Jokes)
Anonymous

A Newsom Promise

Worried about getting recalled, Gavin Newsom tries to improve his image by visiting a remote northern Indian reservation.
With his paid-for news crews following him around as they tour the place, he asks the chief if there was anything they need.
"Well," says the chief, "We have three very important needs.  
First, we have a medical clinic but no doctor to man it."
Newsom whips out his phone, dials a number, talks to somebody for two minutes, and then hangs up. "I've pulled some strings. Your doctor will arrive in a few days with enough Covid vaccine for all of your people.
Now, what was the second problem?"
"We have no way to get clean water. The local mining operation has poisoned the water our people have been drinking for thousands of years.  We've been trucking bottled water in, and it's terribly expensive." 
Once again, the Newsom dials a number, yells into the phone for a few minutes, and then hangs up. "The mine has been shut down, and the owners will pay for a purification plant for your people. 
Now, what was that third problem?"
The chief looks at him and says, "We have no cellphone reception up here!"

Categories: Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Coronavirus Jokes) , U.S. State Jokes (California Jokes)
Submitted BY: RichK
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