Football Misunderstanding

A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. They found seats in the crowded stadium and were watching the action. A substitute was put into the game and as he was running onto the field to take his position, the boy said to his girlfriend, "Take a good look at that fellow. I expect him to be our best man next year." His girlfriend snuggled closer to him and said, "That's the strangest way I ever heard of for a boy to propose to a girl. But, regardless of how you said it, I accept!"

Ghost's Footballer

Q: What do ghosts say when a girl footballer is sent off?
A: Ban-she Ban-she!

Illinois Speeding Penalty

Q: Did you hear the new penalty for speeding in Illinois?
A: On the first offense they give you Bears tickets, and on the second offense, they make you use them.