Heavenly Golf

Moses, Jesus and an old man are golfing. Moses steps up to the tee and hits the ball. The ball goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap, so Moses parts the water and chips the ball onto the green. Jesus steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap, so Jesus just walks on the water and chips the ball onto the green. The old man steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and heads for the water trap. However, just before it falls into the water, a fish jumps up and grabs the ball in it's mouth. As the fish is falling back down into the water, an eagle swoops down and grabs the fish in its claws. The eagle flies over the green where a lightning bolt shoots from the sky and barely misses it. Startled, the eagle drops the fish. When the fish hits the ground, the ball pops out of its mouth and rolls into the hole for a hole-in-one. Jesus then turns to the old man and says, "Dad, if you don't stop fooling around, we won't bring you next time."

Cowboy Jokes

• The Dallas newspapers reported yesterday that Texas Stadium is going to take out the artificial turf because the cowboys play better on "grass."
• The Dallas Cowboys adopted a new "Honor System", Yes your Honor, no your Honor.
• The Cowboys had a 12 and 5 season this year, 12 arrests, 5 convictions.
• The Cowboys knew they had to do something for their defense, so they hired a new defensive coordinator: Johnny Cochran

Going Fishing

Going fishing was very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First of all, clean and inspect your tackle, carefully pull back your rod cover, and remove any dirt or grunge that may have built up whilst not in use. Then, extend your rod to its full length, and check that there are no kinks or any wear. Particularly at the base, where the grip is usually applied. Make sure you've got a decent float, the appropriate bait, and that there's plenty of shot in your bag.