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Sexist Jokes - Men vs Women Jokes
Threats Used in Dysfunctional Families
"Finish your lima beans or you're not getting any heroin for dessert!"
"If you don't stop that this instant, I'll have Grandma perform another striptease for you."
"If this plexiglass wasn't between us, I'd wash your mouth out with soap, young man."
"Do you want me to put a tofu burrito in your pants? Well? Do You?!"
"Billy Bob, you finish them chores or Sis ain't goin' to the prom with ya!"
"Eat your brussel sprouts, or Mommy won't love you anymore."
"Lyle, Erik -- either behave, or go to your suites!"
"If you don't eat your peas, Chelsea, I'll make you stay at the Gingrich's house!"
"Don't make me put you back in the womb!"
"As long as you live under this roof, you're *going* to wear that dress, young man!"
"You just wait til your father gets paroled!"
"Stop crying, Lourdes, or Uncle Dennis will kick you in the groin."
"Young lady, don't make me send you to the Citadel!"
and the Number 1 Threat Used in Dysfunctional Families... "All right, Little Mister, no more time in the sheep pen for you!"
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Wedding Tombstones
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"
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Problem Or Challenge
Q: A teacher asks, "What's the difference between a problem and a challenge?"
A: A student repsonds, "3 boys + 1 girl = problem. 1 boy + 3 girls = challenge."
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