Bartender Robbed and Harrassed

A bartender was getting ready to close for the night when a robber with a ski mask burst in and pulls a gun. He yells to the bartender, "This is a stick-up!  Put all your dough in this bag!" The scared bartender pleads, "Don't shoot, please! I'll do as you say!" The robber yells, "Shut up and empty the cash register!" The bartender says, "Okay, okay! Just don't shoot, I have a wife and kids! I'll do whatever you say!" The crook takes the money then puts the gun to the bartender's head and says, Alright, now give me a blowjob!" "Anything!" cries the bartender, "Just don't shoot!" The bartender starts to blow the crook. As the crook gets excited he drops the gun. The bartender sees the gun on the floor, picks it up, hands it back to the crook and yells, "Hold the gun, damn it! One of my friends might walk in!"

Man's Best Friend

Q: What is a man's best friend?
A: His dick because it always sitcks up for him.

10 Things to Never Say to a Naked Man

Uh...top 10 things not to say to a naked man:

1.  Awww...that's cute
2. Well, at least you're good at other things
3. Do you think it'll fit in my old Barbie® clothes?
4.  My li'l brother has one like that.
5.  Are you cold?
6. ...giggles...
7.  Maybe we should just be friends
8.  Can you make it dance?
9.  Umm...maybe you should get dressed
10.  Oh...look...its hiding!