The Old Man's Bird

There's an old man laying on the beach naked and a little girl passes by. She stops and stairs at the man and asked "mister what is that thing between your legs?" The man says "oh that , well the thing that is standing is the bird the two things on the side are the eggs and the thing around it is the nest." The old man asked her to leave so he can get some sun. He falls asleep,  when he wakes up there are paramedics around him. He asked what happen.The paramedic said  "ask the little girl." The old man calls her over " what happened?" The little girl said "when you went to sleep I tried to make the bird fly, I pulled and pulled but he got big and spit at me so I kicked the bird, smashed the eggs and burned the nest..

Man's Best Friend

Q: What is a man's best friend?
A: His dick because it always sitcks up for him.

10 Things to Never Say to a Naked Man

Uh...top 10 things not to say to a naked man:

1.  Awww...that's cute
2. Well, at least you're good at other things
3. Do you think it'll fit in my old Barbie® clothes?
4.  My li'l brother has one like that.
5.  Are you cold?
6. ...giggles...
7.  Maybe we should just be friends
8.  Can you make it dance?
9.  Umm...maybe you should get dressed
10.  Oh...look...its hiding!