Definition of Bad Lover

Definition of Bad Lover: An earthquake occurs during sex. Afterwards he asks the woman if she felt the earth move. She says no.

One Wish to Each

Three blondes were walking through the desert when they found a magic genie's lamp. After rubbing the lamp to make the genie appear, he said, "I will grant three wishes, one for each of you." The first said, "I wish I were smarter." So, she became a redhead. The second blonde said, "I wish I were smarter than she is." She became a brunette. The third blonde ordered, "I wish I were smarter than both of them!" So, she became a man.

Laying Carpet

Laying a carpet is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You check the dimensions, lay her out on the floor, pin her down, nail her,  then walk all over her.