Asian Woman Driving

Being Asian and a woman definitely has its advantages. For example, when you’ve had a few drinks and have to drive home past midnight, you think you're driving perfectly fine, but in reality you're not. Next thing you know, there's a cop. The cop sees you and doesn’t even bother pulling you over, let alone giving you a ticket. Why? Well, he’s probably thinking, “This person’s not under the influence, it’s just an Asian woman driving!”

ELEMENT: WOMAN

ELEMENT: WOMAN SYMBOL: WO DISCOVERER:
ADAM ATOMIC MASS:    Accepted as 53.6 Kg, but known to vary from 40 to 200 Kg.
OCCURRENCE: Copious quantities in all urban areas.
Physical Properties:
1. Surface normally covered with a painted film.
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields to pressure applied at correct points.
Chemical Properties:
1. Has great affinity to gold, silver and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no apparent reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.
Common Uses:
1. Highly ornamental.
2. Can be a great aid in relaxation.
3. Very effective cleaning agent.
Tests:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
Hazards:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens don't come into contact with each other.

Smart to Cross the River

Three Blonde men escaped from a jail. As they were running from the police, they ran into a river. The first man dropped to his knees and prayed that God would make him smart so that he could get across the river. He was immediately turned into a redhead and made a raft to get across the river. Soon, he escaped. The second man began to pray that God would make him smarter than the man before him, and was turned in to a brunette. He made a boat and rode across the river to safety. The third man asked God to make him smarter than the first two men and was turned into a woman. Smiling, she (he) got up and walked across the bridge!!