Distraught

The wife of an older man is distraught because her husband's um... little sailor can't salute anymore. She goes to her local doctor and explains the situation and the doctor just feels plain bad for her.
The doc thinks for a little bit, turns to the woman and says, "listen, I don't do this for everyone, but since your husband's on his way out... Get this prescription, and put three drops in his milk before he goes to bed." The wife is very happy and thanks the doc profusely.
Two weeks later, the doctor sees the woman and asks how it went. The lady blushes, smiles and says, "well, I put thirty drops in his milk by accident, and well, we just need an antidote now to close the coffin."

Niagra

The Makers of Viagra are announcing that they have developed a pill to increase lubrication in females. The pill will be called Niagra.

Top 10 Viagra Slogans.

1. Viagra, The quicker dicker upper
2. Viagra, One-a-day, like iron
3. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there tonight
4. Viagra, Home of the whopper
5. Viagra, It plumps when you take 'em
6. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman
7. Viagra, Tastes great, more filling
8. Viagra, Ten inches long ... and growing.
9. Viagra, We work harder, so you don't have to.
10. and the number one slogan being considered by Viagra: ... This is your penis. This is your penis on drugs. Any questions?