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Sex Jokes - Private Parts
Got it Bad
There's a celery, a carrot, and a dick talking. The celery was like "Man, I got it bad, they chop me up and put me in cold water!"
Then the carrot was like "You think you got it bad? They chop me up and stick me in HOT water!"
Then the dick said "Ya, well I got it the worst. They put me in a plastic bag, stick me in a dark cave, and make me do push-ups until I puke!"
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7-11 Trip
Q: Why did the dick go to the 7-11?
A: To get a slurpee.
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Three mistresses
There is is this guy and he has three mistresses. Well, he decides that he only wants to have one, so he has to choose. He decides on a way to choose by giving them each $150 and telling them to go off and spend it how they see fit. The first girl comes back and announces that she has spent the $150 on a complete makeover and new hair-do. The guy thinks that is really nice. The second girl comes back and announces that she has spent the $150 on a new see through nightie. The guy thinks that is really nice too. The third girl comes back and puts a wad of money onto the table in front of him. "What's this ?" he asks. The girl explains that she has taken the $150 and invested it and made $2000 with it. The guy is really impressed by this but now he has to go away and decide who he will keep. So who do you think he picks ?? The one with the biggest BOOBS, of course!
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