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Sex Jokes
Best Friend
A guy is talking to his best friend. He tells him, "I haven't made love with her for a month. She's carrying a strange virus that can leave me deaf if I have any sort of sexual intercourse with her."
The friend replied, "Talk louder man, I can't hear a thing you're saying."
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Huge Guy and Tiny Girl Get Married
A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding, one of his friends says to him, "How the hell do the two of you have sex?" The big guy says, "I just sit there, naked, on a chair, she sits on top, and I bob her up and down. "His friend says, "You know, that doesn't sound too bad!" The big guy says, "Well, it's kind of like jerking off, only I got somebody to talk to!"
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Drilling Rights
Storming into his lawyer's office, a Texas oil magnate demanded that divorce proceedings begin at once against his young bride. "What's the problem?" "I want to hit that adultering bitch for breach of contract," snapped the oil man. "I don't know if that will fly," said the lawyer. "I mean your wife isn't a piece of property; you don't own her!" "Damn right," the tycoon rejoined, "but I sure as hell expect exclusive drillin' rights!
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