French Midget

Q: What do you call sex with a french midget?
A: Bone a petite

First Time Hillbilly Hook Up

A hillbilly is sitting in a bar, drinking, when a woman slides up next to him. "You're cute," says the woman, "do you want to go back to my place and have some nasty sex?" "You bet!'' exclaims the hillbilly, "But I have to tell you, I'm a virgin. I've always been scared because my mom told me that women have sharp teeth between their legs, and sometimes they bite."
"Don't worry," the woman says, and the two head back to her place, where she strips and shows the hillbilly her private parts. "Now, does it look like I have teeth down there?" she asks. "How could you possible have teeth down there?" he says, "Look at the shape your gums are in."

THE MASTERCARD COMMERCIAL ALL MEN ARE WAITING FOR

• Cover charge: $15.00
• Round of drinks: $23.00
• Table dance: $30.00
• Another round of drinks: $23.00
• Couch dance and tips: $50.00
• A round of shots: $34.00
• A Bottle of Dom and a Limo home: $125.00
• Private dance in your hotel room: $300.00
• Sending her on her way and never having to hear her complain: Priceless  

For everthing else.... There's MasterCard