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Sex Jokes - Masturbation Jokes
The Staff of Life
Little Johnny's is coming home from the store swinging the loaf of bread in one hand and the other hand in his pants pocket.
Along came Priest Joe, who thought to himself "This is a good opportunity to quote from the bible to Little Johnny."
He walked up to Little Johnny and said "Little Johnny, I see that you have the Staff of Life in your hand. What do you have in the other?"
Little Johnny replied, "A loaf of bread Father."
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Using the Outhouse
Because his son wasn't the brightest kid in the world, old Hillbilly Joe took him to the outhouse one day to teach him how to urinate properly. "Now you lissen good, Dan'l, 'cuz here's whatcha gotta do. One: Take out your penie-pipe. Two: Pull back the foreskin. Three: Pee. Four: Push back your foreskin. Five: Put your equipment back."
The boy said he understood, but the next day while he was working at his still, Joe's wife came running over. "Oh, Joe, Joe, come quick! Dan'l went ta piss an' won't come out of the outhouse!"
"Hell, whut's he doin' in there?" Joe said.
"I dunno. He jess keeps sayin' 'Two-four, two-four, two-four......'"
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General Drug Store
A woman strode angrily into the large drug-store-cum-general-store, slapped a package on the counter, and loudly expressed her dissatisfaction. The clerk asked, "What's the problem? Wouldn't your cat eat them?" The woman's eyes got very large, and she whispered, "Do you mean to tell me that Pussy Treats are meant for 'cats'?"
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