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Sex Jokes - Masturbation Jokes
Triplets
One night a lady pregnant with triplets was walking by and a masked robber ran out of a bank and shot her in the stomach three times. Her doctor told her that he couldn't perform surgery because it would be too risky. All was well for 16 years when one of the girls came running into the room crying. "Whats wrong?" asked the mother. "I was taking a pee and a bullet came out". "It's okay" said the mom and explained what happened 16 years ago. A week later the other girl came running into the room crying, "I know what happened, you were taking a pee and a bullet came out?" "Yes" replied the girl. "It's okay" said the mom and explained what happened 16 years ago. A week later the boy came running in crying, "I know what happened, you were taking a pee and a bullet came out. "No" replied the boy, "I was playing with myself and shot the dog!!!!"
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Charlie Goes Home
Charlie was in a bar and three babes came up and started hitting on him. He asked if they wanted to come over to his house later. They agreed to come over at after they went home and got ready.
Charlie had a friend who worked in a drugstore, so he went to see him. He asked his friend if he had anything that would keep him hard all night long. The man laughed and handed him a bottle of pills instructing him not to take more than one. Once at home, Charlie figured with three women he should take three pills, so he gulped them down.
The next day Charlie showed up at the drugstore to see his friend. Asking for some liniment, he showed him his dick which was ripped to shreds. In disbelief, his friend asked if he was sure that he wanted to put liniment on his dick.
Charlie replied "No,I need it for my arms — the women never showed up!"
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Cucumber Stand
Three nuns went to a cucumber stand in an open market one day. They asked how much the cucumbers were. The merchant said that they were 4 for a dollar. The nuns said okay. The puzzled merchant asked why they needed four cucumbers when there were only three of them. A nun answered back, "Well, we could always eat one."
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