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Sex Jokes - Denied Sex Jokes
Back Yard
A husband and wife were in their back yard when he was noticed her expanding backside. He commented, "Boy, your ass is getting big. Almost as big as the gas grill here."
She angrily stomped across the yard, and he followed saying, "Yep, that thing is getting huge." At this, the wife retreated to the far side of the yard. Soon he approached with a tapemeasure, acquired the width, and exclaimed, "It IS as big as the gas grill!"
Later that night when they were in bed, the husband started making moves on his wife. She just turned away. "C'mon, honey," he said, "what's wrong?"
Her cold reply was, "I'm not firing up this grill for just one little weiner!"
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How Do You Know?
Q: How do you know you're leading a sad life?
A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."
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More Hose
A man who worked for a fire company came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station. Bell 1 rings and we put on our jackets. Bell 2 rings and we slide down the pole. Bell 3 rings and we're on the trucks ready to go. From now on we're going to run this house the same way. When I say bell 1, I want you to strip naked. When I say bell 2, I want you to jump into bed. When I say bell 3, we're going to screw all night.
The next night he came home from work and yelled, "Bell 1," and his wife took off all here clothes. "Bell 2," and his wife jumped into bed. "Bell 3," and they began to screw.
After 2 minutes his wife yelled, "Bell 4."
"What's this Bell 4?" asked her husband.
"More hose," she replied, "You're nowhere near the fire!"
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