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Sex Jokes
Faster Than a Speeding Bullet
I'm faster than a speeding bullet. Except in bed.
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Hooker's Two Cents
One day Bill Clinton decides to go on a jog. While jogging he sees a hooker on the street corner and she says "Five bucks for a blowjob." Bill says, "I'll give you two dollars." The hooker says no and Bill shrugs and continues jogging. The next day he goes for another jog and sees the same hooker. Again she says "Five bucks for a blowjob," but Bill says "no, $2." She says no and Bill laughs and keeps jogging. The next day, Hillary goes with Bill on his jog and he passes hooker once again. The hooker looks over at Hillary and says, "You see what you get for two bucks?"
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10 Ways to Know You've Had Good Sex
1. Your mattress has turned into a giant sponge.
2. It takes five minutes to unknot your bodies.
3. An earthquake of 3.4 on the Richter Scale is recorded in your area.
4. The cat's exhausted from just watching you.
5. A trampoline company has to come to adjust your bed springs.
6 You've both gone down one clothing size.
7. You cancel your chiropractic appointment. There's nothing left to adjust.
8. You have to breathe into a brown paper bag.
9. Boy, are you hungry!
10. You're absolutely satisfied yet uncontrollably horny at the same time.
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