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Sex Jokes
A Cheese Sandwich.
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. "Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?" "I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" "Yes," she purrs, "I am." The man replies "Well wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"
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Blind Man
A blonde girl just stepped into the bathtub when the doorbell rang. "Who is it?" "Blind man," came the response. Feeling charitable, the blonde dashed from the tub without bothering to put on any clothes, grabbed her purse, and opened the door. The man's jaw dropped and he stammered, "Wh-where do you want me to put these blinds, lady?"
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Italian, Black, and a Jew
Three best friends are at the corner bar on a Friday night as usual. One of them is an Italian, one is Black and the other is Jewish. They are sitting around drinking some beers, and they make a wager. They bet who can make love to their wife and make her scream the longest. They agree to return next week and compare. Next week, they all arrive at the bar at the usual time with smiles on their faces. The Italian guy says, "I definitely won. I took my wife out to dinner, bought her roses, then took her home and made love to her. She screamed for an hour." The black guy says, "Man, that's nothin'. I cooked dinner for my wife, and for dessert I poured honey all over her and made love to her like never before. She screamed for two hours." The Jewish guy chimes in, "I got you both beat. I made love to my wife for 3 minutes, pulled out, then wiped my schmeckel on the curtain. She's still screaming!"
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