Six Times

Mr. Perkins, the biology instructor at a posh suburban girl's junior college, said during class, "Miss Smith, would you please name the organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define the conditions."
Miss Smith gasped, then said, "Mr. Perkins, I don't think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you my parents will hear of this!" With that she sat down red-faced.
Unperturbed, Mr. Perkins called on Miss Johnson and asked the same question.
Miss Johnson, with composure, replied, "The pupil of the eye, in dim light."
"Correct," said Mr. Perkins. "And now, Miss Smith, I have three things to say to you. One, you have not studied your lesson. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will some day be faced with a dreadful disappointment."

Hello 101

Q: What school teaches you how to greet people?
A: Hi School.

Discovering America

A Geography teacher stands in front of a map of the world.
Geography Teacher: Tony, can you tell me where in the world America is placed on this map?
Tony shows him America.
Geography Teacher: Now, Lisa, can you tell me the name of the guy who discovered America?
Lisa: Tony did!!