Moral of the Story

One day Adam's teacher told the class that everyone must find out a moral for the next day's class. One boy came in and said, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch." The second boy said, "Don't judge a book by it's cover." Then Adam came in with a broken jaw and black eyes and said, "I asked my Uncle Johnny for a moral and he told me to shut up. I told him he had to help me because it was homework." The teacher said, "What is the moral, Johnny?" "DON''T MESS WITH UNCLE JOHNNY WHEN HE'S DRINKING!!!''

Earth Science Answers

Real Answers From Earth Science Exams

• The terrestrial planets are much larger than the gas giants.
• Wegener found matching bedbugs on opposite sides of the Atlantic.
• The main problem associated with limestone aquifers is Lyme disease.
• We don't have rock salt on Guam because that forms from from evaporation of oceans and we don't have oceans on Guam.
• Erie, Pennsylvania has no volcanoes because it's too cold there.
• The most important agent of landscape formation on Guam is greyhounds - they are intelligent.
• We know that the sun is much farther away from us than the moon is, because we can see stars between us and the sun, but not between us and the moon.
• The rear end of a trilobite is called a trilobutt. 

Been In College Too Long...

• You consider McDonald's "real food."
• You actually like doing laundry at home. 4:00 AM is still early on the weekends.
• It starts getting late on the weeknights.
• Two miles is not too far to walk for a party.
• You wear dirty socks three times in a row and think nothing of it.
• You'd rather clean than study.
• Half the time you don't wake up in your own bed and it seems normal.
• Computer Solitaire is more than a game, it's a way of life.
• You schedule your classes around sleep habits and soaps.
• You know the pizza boy by name.
• You go to sleep when it's light and get up when it's dark.
• You live for getting mail. (E-mail included)
• Prank phone calls become funny again.
• Wal-Mart is the coolest store.
• World War III could take place and you'd be clueless.
• You start thinking and sounding like your roommate.
• Black lights and highlighters are the coolest things on earth.
• Rearranging your room is your favorite pastime.
• You find out milk crates have so many uses.
• The weekend lasts from Thursday to Sunday (or Wednesday morning to Tuesday night).