Men & Women Compared!

NICKNAMES:

If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.  But if Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out for a beer, they will affectionately refer to each other as LardAss, Butt-Breath, Peanut-Head and Useless.
EATING OUT:

When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.  When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
BATHROOMS:

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.  The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
ARGUMENTS:

A woman has the last word in any argument.  Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument!
DRESSING UP:

A man will dress up for weddings, funerals. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail.
LOOKS:

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. (I invite any woman to prove me wrong! :)

Hello, Hello, Hello

This guy comes home from work and when he walks into his bedroom, he finds his wife in bed with 3 other men that he works with. He says "hello hello hello" And the wife says "What? Aren't you talking to me?"

Young Love

A older couple are driving down the highway when another car passed them. The woman notices the occupants of the other car are young and obviously in love. The girl is sitting very close to her boyfriend as they cruise down the highway. This causes the woman to think back to when she and her husband were young and in love, and wondering where the show of affection had disappeared to over the years. Finally she says to her husband, "Remember when we used to be like that young couple? Where did the love go, honey?" He quietly replied, "I haven't moved...."