Smelling the Last Supper

As Sam laid on his death bed, his wife and children gathered around him. Suddenly, the aroma of chopped liver filled the room. Sam perked up a bit and said to his wife, "That's it, one last time before I die, I must have some of your delicious chopped liver!" Sam's wife sheepishly looked at him sadly and said, "Sorry Sam, it's for after."

Generous Qoman

"I was in a very generous mood today," a woman says to her friend. "I gave a poor beggar $25."
"That's a lot of money to give away," says her friend.
"What did your husband say?"
"He said, 'Thank you'. "

Ego

Three words to ruin a man's ego. "Is it in?"