Honeymoon Over

Groom: "Dear, we've been back from the Caribbean for a month now. We've been in our apartment now for nearly a month. Isn't it time we were alone?"
Bride: "But darling, we are alone, aren't we?"
Groom: "What I mean is, when can we get your mother out of here?"
Bride: "MY mother! I thought she was YOUR mother!!!"

Dating Young Women

A single man in his 40's often has a problem finding women at his level of maturity. That's why he dates someone half his age.

Be Careful On Top

A man, being on top of a woman, says after a while:  "Honey, your tits are too small, and your box is too tight," "Get off my back, dear!" she replies