Asleep in Church

A husband and wife are in church. The preacher notices that the husband has fallen asleep and says to the wife, “Wake your husband up!” The wife answers, “You're the one who made him fall asleep, you wake him up!”

Prodigal Son Sermon

One day in church, the priest delivered a sermon based on the timeless story of the prodigal son. When he got to the point where the father sees his son returning and races out to meet him, the minister said "Throwing wide his arms, the father said..." A young boy jumped up & shouted, "YOU'RE GROUNDED!"

Light Bulb - Lutheran Theologians

Q: How many liberal Lutheran theologians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: At least 10, because they need to debate whether the light bulb exists. If they agree upon the bulb's existence, they might refrain from changing it to avoid alienating those who use other forms of light.