Finals Prayer

Now I lay me down to study, I pray the Lord I won't go nutty. If I should fail to learn this junk, I pray the Lord I will not flunk. But if I do, don't pity me at all, just lay my bones in the study hall. Tell my prof I did my best, then pile my books upon my chest. Now I lay me down to rest and pray I'll pass tomorrow's test. If I should die before I wake, that's one less test I'll have to take.

Top 10 Reasons God Created Eve!

Top 10 Reasons God Created Eve

1. God worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions
2. God knew that Adam would one day require someone to locate and hand him the TV remote.
3. God knew that Adam would never go out and get himself a new fig leaf when his seat wore out and would, therefore, need Eve to go get one for him.
4. God knew that Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.
5. God knew that Adam would never be able to remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.
6. God knew that if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.
7. As "Keeper of the Garden," Adam would never remember where he left his tools.
8. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.
9. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone!"
10. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched His head, and said, "I can do better than THAT!"

Insulting in Church

How to be Insulting in Church: Arrive late for any service and arrive noisily. Forget at least one, if not both books, and try to make others stand up while you go back for the ones you need.