The Eleventh Commandment

We have all heard of the ten commandments. Well recently a new eleventh commandment was made. Just for President Clinton. "Thou shalt not put thy rod in thy staff."

Adam Greeting

Q:  What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
A:  It's Christmas, Eve !

Parrot Manner Lessons

A middle aged woman lived alone except for her pet, a male parrot. The woman was very proud of her parrot because it would sit in the bottom of its cage, cross its wings, and pray. She was also a devout church goer and would often brag to the congregation about her faithful parrot. One day the women was boasting about her parrot's prayers. An older gentleman was simply amazed by this. ''I have a female parrot and she's just terrible. My son raised her and all she does is curse. She's the most foul mouthed creature I've ever heard,'' he sighed. ''Maybe if we put my parrot with your parrot he would teach mine how to pray and stop cursing so much.'' The woman readily agreed to this and a few days later the gentleman brought his parrot by. The woman's parrot sat praying in the bottom of the cage as they placed the female inside with him. The parrot instantly stopped praying, hopped up, looked the female over and shouted, ''Hot damn!! This is what I've been praying for!!''