Converted

Two old Jewish men are strolling down the street, when they happen to walk by a Catholic church. They see a big sign that says, “Convert to Catholicism and Get $10.” One of the men stops walking and stares at the sign. His friend turns to him and says, “Abner, what’s going on?” “Caleb,” replies Abner, “I’m thinking of doing it.” After a moment, Abner decides. He strides into the church. He comes out twenty minutes later with his head bowed. “So,” asks Caleb, “did you get your ten dollars?” Abner looks up at him and says, “Is that all you people think about?”

Ethnic Pick Up

A man sits next to a very attractive woman on an airplane. He asks her what kind of men she is interested in. Her top three choices are American Indian men, Jewish men and Southern men. The woman asks the man what his name is. He smiles, "Well, my name's Geronimo Bernstein, but my friends call me Bubba."

Business Is Business

A young Jewish boy starts attending public school in a small town. The teacher of the one-room school decides to use her position to try to influence the new student. She asks the class, "Who was the greatest man that ever lived?" A girl raises her hand and says, "I think George Washington was the greatest man that ever lived because he is the Father of our country." The teacher replies, "Well... that's a good answer, but that's not the answer I am looking for." Another young student raises his hand and says, "I think Abraham Lincoln was the greatest man that lived because he freed the slaves and helped end the civil war." "Well, that's another good answer, but that is not the one I was looking for." Then the new Jewish boy raises his hand and says, "I think Jesus Christ was the greatest man that ever lived." The teacher's mouth drops open in astonishment. "Yes!" she says,"that's the answer I was looking for." She then brings him up to the front of the classroom and gives him a lollipop. Later, during recess, another Jewish boy approaches him as he is licking his lollipop. He says, "Why did you say, 'Jesus Christ'?" The boy stops licking his lollipop and replies, "I know it's Moses, and YOU know it's Moses, but business is business, and who has the lollipop?"