Little Old Lady on a Crowded Bus

A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, she says to the girl, "If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat." The girl gets up and gives up her the seat to the old lady.  It is hot. The girl then takes out a fan and starts fanning herself. The woman looks up and says, "If you knew what I have,  you would give me that fan." The girl gives her the fan, too. Fifteen minutes later the woman gets up and says to the bus driver, "Stop, I want to get off here." The bus driver tells her he has to drop her at the next corner, not in the middle of the block. With her hand across her chest, she tells the driver, "If you knew what I have, you would let me off the bus right here." The bus driver pulls over and opens the door to let her out. As she's walking out of the bus, he asks, "Madam, what is it you have?" The old woman looks at him and nonchalantly replies, "Chutzpah."

All Aboard

A Jewish man steps onto a bus, holding a large duffle bag. He asks for a senior discount, even though he couldn't be much older than 40. Driver asks for his ID, the Jewish man complains and refuses to pay full fare. It goes back and forth between the driver and Jew, both too stubborn to give in. In a rage, the driver throws the Jews duffle bag off the bus, and it tumbles down a hill. The Jew exclaims "What the fuck?! Just because I didn't pay full fare you try to kill my son?"

Jewish Circumcision

Q: What's the difference between a circumcision and a crucifixion?
A: In a crucifixion, they throw away the whole Jew.