Jewish Girl

Q: How can you tell when a Jewish girl has an orgasm?
A: She drops her nail file.

Help Needed!

A man running through the crowded train looked very agitated, calling out, "Is there a Catholic Priest on board?!" When he got no reply, he ran back up the train shouting, "Is there an Anglican Priest on board?!" Still there was no reply. Now becoming very desperate, he ran down the train shouting, "Is there a Rabbi on board?" Finally, a passenger jumped up and shouted, "Can I be of any assistance, my friend?!! I'm a Charismatic Pastor!!" The agitated man paused, looked at him and said, "Sit down; you can't help me. I need a corkscrew!"

Naked Taxi

A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City and laid down on the back seat. The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab. The woman glared back at him and said, "What's wrong with you, honey?  Haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?"
The old Jewish driver answered, "Let me tell you sumsing, lady. I vasn't staring at you like you tink, det vould not be proper vair I come from." The drunk woman giggled and responded, "Well, if you're not staring at my boobs or ass, sweetie, what are you doing then?"
He paused a moment, then told her, "Vell, M'am, I am looking and I am looking, and I am tinking to myself, vair in da hell is dis lady keeping de money to pay for dis ride?"