More Cool Bumper Stickers

• I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
• There's too much blood in my alcohol system.
• WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
• You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
• I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.
• Jesus paid for our sins... now lets get our money's worth.
• Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
• Prevent inbreeding: ban Country & Western music.
• Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
• Lord save me from your followers.
• God must love stupid people. He made so many.
• I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
• Rainy days and automatic weapons always get me down.
• I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Billy Graham Driving

Billy Graham is in a limo when he asks the driver if he could drive. With no choice, he lets Billy take the wheel. Soon after, an officer stops the limo for going over the speed limit. He looks in and finds Billy Graham at the drivers seat. The second officer on the walkie-talkie says, "Who is it?" The Officer refuses to tell him. "I think we caught someone good." "WELL?!" The first officer pauses and then states, "I think we caught Jesus Christ 'cause Billy Graham's driving the car!"

Get Out of Bed

It was 5:00 a.m and the father went to his son, Shawn's bedroom door, knocked and said, "Son, it's time to get up. Jump in the shower and we've got to leave ASAP to catch any fish." Soon it was 5:30 and dad had the coffee brewing, the boat hooked up and he just finished packing the truck, when he noticed Shawn still wasn't up. Furious the dad pounded on his son's bedroom door a second time and yelled, "Jesus rose from the dead and you can't even get out of bed!" To which the son replies, "Yeah, but it took Jesus three days!!"