God is an Artist

A Sunday school teacher began her lesson with a question. "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?" A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy. "Really?! How do you know?" asked the teacher. "You know? Our Father, who does art in Heaven."

Change My Mind

The church was conducting its annual fund drive. One member of the congregation said, "I'll give ten dollars." Just then, a piece of plaster fell from the ceiling and landed on his head. He spoke up again quickly. "I'll give a thousand dollars!"
The minister said, "Lord, hit him again!"

God & The Two Gifts

When God created the earth, then Adam and Eve, he found he had two baubles left over.  He came to Adam and Eve and said, "I have two things left. One is the gift to piss while standing up."  Adam got very excited, "Oh, that would be so great, I would really like that. If I'm out in the fields, I can just go right there."  So Eve smiled and said, "Okay, it sounds like he really wants that."  As Adam tried out his new gift, he asked out of curiosity, "What was the other gift?".  "Oh,"  God said, looking at Eve with a smile, "Multiple orgasms!".