Share this joke via Email (Step 2)
Share this Joke on Twitter
Registered Users Only
Registered Users Only
Get link for other Social Networks
- Home
- Popular Jokes
- New Releases
- Joke of the Day
- Browse By Category
- Browse Writers
- Contests
- Submit Joke
- Contact Us
- Info
All rights reserved.
Religion Jokes - Catholic Jokes
Father I Have Sinned
One day 3 men went to a shrine to ask the Father for forgiveness. The first man went to the Father and said, "Father, Father I have sinned!" Father: "What have you done?" The first man: "I have lied!" Father: "Drink the Holy water and you will be saved." And so the man drank the water and was "saved". Then the second man went up to the Father and said: "Father, Father I have sinned!" Father: "What have you done?" The second man: "I have stolen from the jeweler's!" Father: "Drink the Holy water and you will be saved." And so the man drank the holy water and was "saved". The third man went up to the Father and said: "Father, Father I have sinned!" Father: "What have you done?" The third man: " I peed in the Holy water!"
- 0
- 0
- 1
Irish Nuns
A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at traffic lights, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulls up alongside of them. "Hey, show us your tits, yer bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Immaculata, "I don't think they know who we are, show them your cross." Sister Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Screw off yer bloody little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!"
Sister Immaculata looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks, "Was that cross enough?"
- 3
- 8
- 9
Quick Witted Christian
A young woman teacher with obvious liberal tendencies explains to her class of small children that she is an atheist. She asks her class if they are atheists too. Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A beautiful girl named Lucy has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because, I'm not an atheist." Then, asks the teacher, "What are you?" "I'm a Christian." The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy why she is a Christian. "Well, I was brought up knowing and loving Jesus. My mom is a Christian, and my dad is a Christian, so I am a Christian." The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was an idiot and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?" Lucy paused, smiled and said, "Then, I'd be an atheist!"
- 0
- 0
- 1
