Priest Vs Rabi Confession

A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unmanned, he called a rabbi friend up and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him and show him what to do. The rabbi comes and he and the priest are in the confessional. In a few minutes a woman comes in and says "Father forgive me for I have sinned." The priest asks "What did you do?". The woman says "I committed adultery." The priest asked "How many times?" The woman replies "Three times." "Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more." A few minutes later another woman enters the confessional. She says "Father forgive me for I have sinned." The priest again asked "What did you do?" The woman answered "I committed adultery." Again he asks "How many times?" "Three times." He tells her "Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more." The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he's got it so the priest leaves. A few minutes later another woman enters and says "Father forgive me for I have sinned." The Rabbi asks "What did you do?" This woman too answers "I committed adultery." The Rabbi asks "How many times?" the woman responds "Just once." He tells her  "Go do it two more times. We have a special this week, three for $5."

A Priest and a Lawyer Go for a Walk

A priest and a lawyer are walking down the street and see a small boy eating an ice cream. The priest says, "How'd you like to fuck that?"  To which the lawyer replied, "Out of what?"

Do You Reaize Who You Are Talking To?

 A blonde was telling her priest a Pollock joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?" "Oh, I'm sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over and talk slower?"