Eminem's Divorce

• That comment about Elton being "twice the woman" she ever was.
• Caught Eminem fantasizing about killing other women.
• Sick of hiding her love for the Insane Clown Posse.
• Sure, he talks and raps like a black man, but when he takes down his pants...
• Recently overtaken by a strange and unfamiliar compulsion to live past the age of 35.
• I mean come on, people... the dude lost to Steely Dan.
• Thanks to a recent surgery, her head's no longer implanted deep within her own rectum.
  
  And The Top Reason Eminem's Wife Filed For Divorce. . .
• Sick of dating a rich, famous, abusive bastard. Would like to try a poor, unknown abusive bastard for a change.

I Don't Mind Your Talking

I don't mind that you are talking, so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening!

Who Needs A Husband?

Who needs a man...my dog growls at me every morning, my parrot swears all afternoon, my fireplace smokes a lot, my cat slinks home in the early morning hours, and I have a physician who looks me over regularly.