Anniversary

A guy says, "For our Twentieth , I'm taking my wife to Australia." His friend says, "That's going to be tough to beat. What are you going to do for your Twenty-fifth ?" The first guy says, "I'm going to go back and get her."

The Stages of Marriage

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Rabbi's Advice

"Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?" The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me." The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?" The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?" The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know." A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?" The man anxiously says, "Yes." "Take the poison," says the Rabbi.