Breeding Problem

A Soviet woman comes to a gynecologist and complains: "Doctor, when I wasn't married, I had six abortions, and now that I'm married I can't get pregnant." "Well" said the doctor, "It's possible you don't breed in captivity!"

Grenade -Riddles

Q: What do a woman and a grenade have in common? 
A: Pull off the ring and the house is gone.

Halloween Costume Party

On the night of a Halloween costume party a couple were having trouble picking suitable outfits. After a while the wife got mad and stormed out of the room. Fifteen minutes later she came back completely naked except for a lemon between her legs. The husband looked at her for a moment and then stormed out of the room himself. Twenty minutes passed and then he came back himself with a potato around his dick. The wife gave him a weird look and then the husband replied "If your going as a sour-puss, I going as a dictator".