New Positions

Husband: Shall we try a new positon tonight?
Wife: Sure. You stand by the ironing board and I'll sit on the couch and drink beer and fart!

Wrong Approach

A man comes home from work, his wife greets him at the door and he asks, "Is dinner ready yet?!?" She grabs him and points across the street, as a husband comes home and tenderly kisses his wife. She says, "Why can't you do that?" The husband responds, "Well, I haven't met her yet."

Henry VIII

Q: Why did Henry VIII have so many wives?
A: He liked to chop and change!