Leaving

After an argument with his wife, a man stalked out of the house. He returned a few hours later to find his wife packing a suitcase. He angrily asked her where she was going.
"I'm moving to Las Vegas. I can make $400-500 there doing what I give you for free." The man thought about this for a moment, then pulled out his own suitcase and began packing.
His wife asked where he was going. "I'm going to Las Vegas, too. I want to see how you manage to live on $800 a year!"

The Boarder

An eighty-year-old man went to his doctor for a checkup. The man was getting married in a month to a girl 60 years his junior. The doctor tried to talk him out of the marriage, but it didn't work.
"If you want your marriage to last," the doctor conceded, "I say you at least take in a boarder." The old man agreed.
The old man didn't see the doctor until they met at a fund-raiser a year later. The old man says, "Doc, congratulate me, my wife is pregnant."
"That's good news," said the doctor. "I knew the boarder would help."
"Oh," said the old man with a wicked grin, "and the boarder's pregnant as well."

Living Proof

A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.